Sending in my notice.

I love when Aaron writes posts, especially when they include such exciting news!  I can totally hear is voice through his writing.  I am so proud of the hard work he put in to getting a job and also feeling so blessed at the same time that we have job opportunities in such a difficult economic period.  

We told friends and family about his job earlier but wanted to hold off from sharing with the world wide web until I notified my school that I would be leaving.  So here is my tale of telling my school that I would not be teaching here next year and my thoughts about it all...

They announced over the PA system mid-January, "This is for all teachers: you must submit your notice of employment by February 1st notifying the school if you will continue working here next year or if you would like to terminate your employment.  There is a form in your box."  Click.

I had students in my room at the time so I couldn't really react to the voice over the intercom, but this was it.  I had known for a little while now that Aaron and I would not be living in Provo after my first year of teaching.  I had known that I would need to tell my school that I would be leaving.  Even though I had known these things and was happy for what the future holds, I still didn't want to have to notify my school.  I didn't want to be that teacher that fulfills all stereotypes: just out of BYU, husband still in school, will most likely only teach for a year before moving out of state.  I have heard people talk about those teachers since I started my student teaching at BYU.  Granted, I had also been reassured by my department chair and administration that they would rather hire an excellent teacher for one year than a mediocre teacher for 5 years.  But still, being in Provo at Timpview where this happens so often, I hated being the one to yet again teach a year or two and then leave.

Aside from fulfilling stereotypes or not, the idea of turning in my notice presented a whole different kind of mental dilemma.  When everyone else knew that this would be my only year, then I would have to come to terms with it as well.

This means a lot of different things for me.  This also means that I will have to say goodbye to great co-workers and kind students.  This means that I won't get to coach soccer next year, which although I won't miss the responsibilities of coaching too much, I will be sad to say goodbye to my girls. This means that when students come and ask if they can be my TA or visit my classroom next year that I will have to say, "No I won't be here."  This means that the hard earned foundation I have been laying here for my classes will need to be handed over for other teachers to complete in the coming years.

The scariest of all, this means that I would have to go out on the job hunt again and this time in a world unknown to me.  Even though I grew up in California, I have next to no real teaching connections there.  My recommendations don't have nearly as much sway there, and let's be honest, the reason I got my job was entirely based off of recommendations and networking.  Additionally, my silly/painful Utah Praxis has no sway there--I will have to take THREE California tests to match my ONE Utah test.  Ugh.  So, that will be a new hurdle to tackle and I don't know how I feel about it.  It's a little bit of a bummer to start completely over with a process I just got out of.

So all of this is not to say that I am not excited for what the future holds--because I so am.  I have been so proud of Aaron and we have always known that we would move to where he would get a job.  We made all of the decisions together and he was so considerate of me throughout the whole process.

I have been ready to see what California brings.  Ready to have a start fresh, where people know me and Aaron as one unit, "The McKells."  Start fresh where we discover a new area just for us.  Start fresh where we make new traditions, put together a new home, start a family and have new experiences just for us.  When I think this way, I want to pack the bags and let the adventure begin without hesitation.

But for now, I have my two feet in two different worlds.  A world where I am a teacher at Timpview, will always be a Timpview teacher/soccer coach/MUN leader, and forever a Provo-ite.  And another world where I am the South Bay adventurer, striking out into a world of who knows what occupation and who knows what experiences.

I am two people and can't wait to be one.  Not excited to leave Provo behind, but excited to welcome San Jose into my life officially.

*These pictures were taken at the change of the semester, where my textbooks were stacked waiting for my new (not so) little students to claim them and their pages of knowledge :)  They were my leaning towers of Pisa. My classroom has become another home.  It will always be mine I think.